The whole thing started over an old picture--one I didn't even know existed, but I'm rather glad it has surfaced:
Can you spot me?
The whole disagreement was over the girl in my lap. I had no idea who it was. Well, okay, I had ideas, but I couldn't decide who it was. And that's sad to me. I couldn't remember who this girl was--this girl who was obviously close enough to me to sit in my lap for a class picture.
Let me back up and let you in on an embarrassing but well-known fact. This photo represents my entire highschool in 1997. From 7th grade to 12th. Eleventh, actually, because there were no Seniors in 1997. Unless this was '98... If that were the case, there are four. I dunno... By the time I was a Senior, our numbers had dwindled to seven or eight kids between the ages of 12 and 18.
I'm not sure if highschool was really how I remember it. I don't think I really was how I thought I was, and I don't think people thought of me how I thought they thought of me. Follow? Aside from casual hellos, I don't talk to any of those people any more. Facebook provides the only connection I have to those with whom I was once so tight, and ya know? I'm not even tagged in the photo. What does that mean?
Last year I got a phone call from the one other girl that graduated with me. She was in town, and wanted to have coffee. I hadn't talked to her in nine years, so I thought, why not? "It'll be like our nine year highschool reunion!" I joked. An hour before we were to meet, she texted me that she wouldn't make it, and I'm 97% sure it's because I refused to listen to her Arbonne sales pitch. And I wasn't surprised. ...I don't think there will be a 20th reunion...
The point is, as students of such a tiny school, we had very few options in choosing our friends. When I think back over the friends I had, I can't help but wonder if we really wanted to be friends. Did we really like each other? Or were we just victims of convenience? I wish it wasn't the case. I wish I still had that one friend who never fell away despite time or distance. That one person with whom I could site a long history, with whom I could grow and mature, and truly be proud to have them in my life.
I hope I don't give the impression that highschool was a miserable time for me. It really wasn't! At the time, I was in my element. However, I'm truly pleased to say that I don't hang on to it one bit. Life moves forward and away, and I've gone with it.
Oh yeah--popular opinion says that the girl in my lap is Kristin. I'm still not so sure, but Kristin herself says she thinks it's her.