I have been continuously asked the same two questions in the last (almost) three weeks:
1) How's married life?
Answer: Um...exactly the same, thank you. (Yeah. We've lived together for a year and a half. Was something supposed to change?)
2) When are you going to have a baby?
Answer: Ok, there is no answer to this one. Just evade, evade, evade!
How is it okay for someone to ask that?
In the meantime, there are newborn babies everywhere I look. Multiple facebook friends are either pregnant, overdue, or have recently had a baby. Every other blog I click on features photos of brand new babies. Baby clothes and baby furniture and baby stories shared by new moms who are the only ones in the world who could possibly understand what it means to be a parent.
And kids. Photos of kids who are the spitting image of their parents, wrapped in an embrace that is only comfortable when shared with those who formed you. Stories of the funny things kids say while being tucked into bed, and the messy art projects that are made with love and presented with pride.
I'd be lying if I didn't say my green monster is rearing its ugly, intrusive head. So, in the meantime, I'm thinking a garden will do. I mean, if you're not going to grow one thing, you might as well grow another, right?
All in all, the wedding turned out pretty much how I wanted it to. It was laid back, casual and fun. I had fun, anyway...I hope other people did, too. If you ask my new mother in law, it was beautiful and brilliant and just right for us. And that was the most important thing for me--that it be 'us'.
I surprised myself by not being nervous. Anxious, maybe, but not nervous. I didn't shake, I didn't sweat...I didn't even turn splotchy red! (thank goodness...). As I walked down the aisle on my dad's arm, I did feel my composure slipping away, but I looked up and saw my almost-husband, and suddenly the world was gone.
I feared that I would go into auto-mode and say my vows mechanically, but I didn't. I absorbed every word the chaplain said and I meant with all my heart every word that I said to Paul (except the whole submit thing. Whoops.). I cried as I knew I would, but delicately I think, and not the kind of tears that kill my voice and crumple my face.
The thing was done so quickly, and before I realized what had happened, we were being announced, for the first time, Paul and Heather Abundis. And you couldn't wipe the smile from my face.