Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A Letter of Complaint to the Following:

Dear El Nino (again, see missing tilde explanation):

I know it's your year to shine, and shine you have. Wait, I take that back. Shine might be the incorrect way to describe a weather pattern that has almost completely elimintated evidence of a sun.

I understand that rain is necessary. In fact, Washington has had an easy time of it in comparison to other areas. We are not flooded, we are not frozen and we are not on fire. Our grass and trees are a beautifully vibrant emerald green (even though they are in desperate need of a trim. A trim that we have difficulty giving them because it won't stop raining!) Our summer is sure to be fruitful and without drought or famine (if that summer ever arrives).

Having cited the positive aspects of torrential downpours, I must also include a list of complaints:
  • My driveway is now an 1/8th mile uphill mud slick. While it is still navigable, we are required to get out of the vehicle before entering the house, resulting in the thick mud-caking of our shoes. This coat of mud is then transfered to my wooden floors, requiring me to sweep far more often than I want to. (Have you seen how much mud can be trapped in the tread of a pair of combat boots?)
  • I have not had a good hair day since last February, when you decided to bless us with 70 degree temperatures.
  • My grandiose plans of summer fun and frolic are thwarted on a weekly basis. By you!
  • I am depressed. You see, the human body requires a certain amount of Vitamin D to operate correctly, and without the sun we find ourselves severely malnourished. This results in low energy, a feeling of foreboding and the loss of patience towards small children who desperately need to play outside.
El Nino, I could go on and on, but my basic message is this: GO AWAY. You've outstayed your welcome. You are not wanted here anymore.


cc El Nina (your irritating, summer-squashing sister)


honestabe said...

I truly hope this bitchin works - I am READY as well!!!!!

Mom said...

The sun was out for a couple hours yesterday afternoon. The Lindz and I went to West Beach with frozen mochas and did our best not to break an ankle on the rocks that make up the beach there. Someday those rocks will be sand, or maybe they are sand now and as Lindsey says we are just very small people and it is very large sand! The sun felt good, tho. We even had to take off our ever present hoodies! Wish you had been there with us. xxxooo

Heather said...

Very deep of you and Lindsey, Mom... I wish I was there too!

I think all my whining worked. I see sunshine! For the moment. I hope I didn't jinx it.

Erica said...

I really hope this rain stops for Saturday! We are supposed to be doing a BBQ for Lylah's party and the gloomy, rainy weather is just NOT going to cut it for me! I see sun not and I really hope it stays! It would be nice if my Gram could actually see the beautiful views we have instead of me explaining them!