Tuesday, December 1, 2009

In Between

Lauren's reaction was priceless as we rounded the corner to Canoe Pass and she, for the first time, experienced the breathtaking panorama of Deception Pass. "Oh wow!" she breathed, "Wow!"

I wish we had had more time. There's really not much I love more than showing off my island, and I was dying to pull over and walk her across the twin expanses, showing off the dumb facts I've learned over my lifetime as an islander.

But my parents were waiting for us, and I did not stop. Someday we'll take all of the kids north to explore the island. They'll love it.

Last Saturday, barely recovered from Thanksgiving, Paul, Lauren and I headed to Oak Harbor to drop my car off with my parents. This was my first trip back since I officially moved to Port Orchard in September, and I was kind of ready for it. I needed a mom hug, and wouldn't you know? My mom knew I needed a mom hug. She needed a Heather hug too.

Going back was a strange experience. It was my home, but not. I've moved away  before but maybe never with the clear knowledge that I am not coming back. And let me tell you dear reader, I am NOT going back. But I'm left with a feeling of limbo. I'm stuck between two lives...one that has definitely ended and one that is slowly being built. Please don't get me wrong--I'm disgustingly happy with the direction my life has taken. But patience has never been my forte. I want it all, and I want it now. I want a long history with Paul, memories and momentos, stories to tell and photos to reminisce over. It's kind of hard to have that kind of history from the beginning, and I feel silly even as I write, but it's how I feel. I look forward to writing our own story together. Ask me in ten years and I'll have a lot to say!


Tiffany said...

I'm like you. I want it all. I wanted grandkids 7 years ago. =)

Mom said...

Buy a Christmas ornament and get started with those memories.